New Year, Fresh Start

Hello my beautiful, wonderful, gorgeous friends. I am taking a moment today, in these last few hours of the year 2011, to write about my resolutions for the upcoming year. A start to a new year is an opportunity for all of us to look back on the year we just had, to review the lessons we have learned and to look at the wonderful things that we have accomplished.
I learned so much in 2011. About myself, about how I see the world, and the people in it. I have loved and lost, had ups and downs, wins and times when I didn't feel even close to winning. But most importantly, 2011 has been an amazing journey. There have been a few things that have come to my attention, especially over the last few months. Many of these things are lessons I have learned in regards to my interactions and associations with other people. They have also taught me many things about myself.
I have learned that keeping a positive view on things is sometimes very hard. I have also learned that keeping this view is the only way that I can effectively pick myself up, dust myself off an try, try again. I have learned that sometimes, caring too much about something gets you burned, but if you choose not to care, things in life hold little meaning.
So I'm still taking the good with the bad, and the bad with the good, but one of my most important goals for this year is to surround myself with positivity and positive people. I have learned first hand how hard it is to remain completely solid on your foundation of beliefs when the people surrounding you call your every action and intention to attention with the worst possible motive. How when people you think you know try to drag you down completely, because their warped and twisted view of the world allows them only to see you in the dark coloured glasses that they choose to wear.
I am done allowing these people to surround me. I am done allowing these people to drag me down. I am done allowing these people to create doubt and question in things I know to be true and pure and beautiful.
I will continue to spread the goodness, happiness and beauty that I see in the world. I will continue to do my best to help people see these things. I will continue to bring hope and encouragement into other's lives and into my own.
I will continue to preach love. I still believe that LOVE is the answer to all. LOVE starts within yourself and spreads from there. LOVE your quirks and your qualms. LOVE your body and your mind and your soul. LOVE who you are, even as you continue to grow and change and LOVE who you have been in the past. Always, always, always spread the love. You are the first step to changing the world. You have in your hands the power to make a difference. Will you choose to take that step?

Inspiration Pay It Forward

"Intense Love does not measure, It simply gives."

"If you want a love message to be heard, it has got to be sent out. To keep a lamp burning we have got to keep putting oil in it."

"Love begins at home. It is not how much action we do, but rather how much love we put in to the action."

- Mother Teresa



Life is not about success. It is not about how much money you do or do not make, or how far up that ladder you can or cannot climb. Life is about the Journey and how you live it. It's about how many lives you touch, and how you touch them. Our world today is so controlled by all the 'not suppossed tos' or the 'you really shouldn'ts'. How much money you make, and what type of job you work dictates your position in society and how you live your life. But why should it?
I say, it's time to break free from those bonds and to rise up, united, as agents of change. Positive change. An evolution towards a higher state of humanity where it does not matter what your social status, you age, your ranking or your skin colour is. A place where we can all be people, as people.
I am a realist. I realize that this is not a probable state of being. We are too ingrained in society now to expect change of any kind. However, I must reinforce that CHANGE starts within you. As you learn to not only accept, but to see the differences and inequalities in yourself, not as differences and inequalities but as beautiful paradigms of your self, then you can do the same in others as well. Allow your self to bring love, light, positivity and happiness into your own personal life, and soon too you can spread that to others. Allow yourself a few moments of 'weakness' and a few moments of 'strength'. Allow yourself to see that these moments of 'weakness' and 'strength' are neither 'good' nor 'bad' they simply are. Allow them to be as they are, so that you will be allowed the full human experience. Accept the 'good' and the 'bad' as it comes and allow your self to fully feel and experience the aspects of both. For in the 'bad' we shall then learn to appreciate the 'good' and in the 'good' we shall then learn to accept the 'bad'.
As you find this balance within yourself, allow it to be spread to others. All others. Let it spread in a smile and a friendly hello to a stranger on the street, or to a self-less loving gesture to a loved one. Find ways to spread this light, love and happiness without expectation and without condition. Simply allow it to be shared with all, you may be happily surprised with the goodness you will see coming back to you. In all things put out exactly what you wish to recieve back.

Introductory Psychology Project Exploring the Benifits of Equine Assisted Psychotherapy

A recent Intro. Psych paper that I felt would be benifical to share. Not a whole lot of spiritual significance, but it does bring some light into the beliefs that horses are helping to heal us. Without Question, when we are open to it.
Reference to the original article is made following my report on it. I accessed it through my local library data base as I assume you would also be able to do, are you interested in reading it.

The Effects of Equine Assisted Psychotherapy on Children who have experienced Family Violence

I have chosen to explore the topic of Equine Assisted Psychotherapy (EAP) and its effect on children experiencing or witnessing family violence for a number of reasons. I have personally been involved in the equine industry across North America for a number of years, many of which have been spent teaching riding lessons, equestrian sessions and training horses. I have noticed a huge personal shift in my own behaviour, including heightened levels of self-esteem, confidence and an ability to handle and deal with stress on an effective level. I have seen several of my own clients, many of which are children, experience this shift of behaviour in their own lives. Many have reported to experience increased levels of contentment, happiness and stability in their own personal lives as well as an increase in ability to deal effectively with stress and difficult situations. I have also had the privilege to witness similar shifts in the horses themselves, many seeming to become more grounded, more interactive and more interested in both their human counterparts and their own personal environments. I have had the joy to experience firsthand the positive shift in herd dynamics and herd behaviours in these ‘awakened’ horses, and have slowly seen this mentality spread through entire herds.


I have taken a particular interest in EAP as I believe that horses are a very effective therapy tool. Horses have several characteristics that are similar to humans in their behavioural responses and social structures, thus providing a mirror for the client to gain insight in a unique and non-threatening environment. (Schultz, Remick-Barlow & Robbins, 2007) Horses, being prey animals, are highly adapt at reading and interpreting extremely subtle signals from their environment, including body language from other horses and people that they interact with. As a result it requires clients to truthfully and honestly review and express emotions that they are experiencing or they will mostly likely be faced with difficult interactions with their horses. With my own personal clients I ask them to recognize and express all their emotional issues and concerns as they arise throughout each session, this allows them to deal with these issues in a positive and effective manner. I have seen many instances where the client has been too embarrassed, unwilling or simply unable to identify with their emotions and for that entire session afterward the horse would perfectly mirror the client’s suppressed emotions so much to the point that the client was effectively ‘fighting themselves’ in the form of their equine partner.

Studies have suggested that 11-20% of children have a childhood incidence of witnessing family violence (Straus & Smith, 1990. Henning et al, 1996. As cited by Schultz et al, 2007). I have taken a particular interest in the effectiveness of EAP as a therapy on children witnessing or experiencing family violence as I feel, after personally working with children, that this is an extremely effective therapy method that they may be able to benefit greatly from. I have also, though personal experience, come to believe that children are less likely to be effected by cultural and societal stereotypes while working within this type therapy modality, and will be more open to the effects of interacting with horses on such a level. Overall, children seem to be more readily able to express and identify with emotions on all levels and, for the most part, are more willing than their adult counterparts to face these issues head on. I feel that for these reasons, the effectiveness of this type of therapy on children may be increased.

The authors’ goal with this study was to explore the effectiveness of EAP as a therapy tool for children witnessing and experiencing intra-family abuse. The authors assess that; it is clear from the literature and from this study that intra-family violence places children at considerable risk of mental health problems (Schultz et al, 2007) and that the environment of intra-family violence is a substrate for childhood and adolescent mental disorders (Dube et al, 2002, as cited by Schultz et al, 2007). They argue that the findings of this study have important implications for mental health promotion and that the children involved demonstrated a quick response to EAP. Overall, the children’s response to the study left little doubt that there was a rapid and highly positive effect on behaviour that appeared to be more effective in some children as in others. All the children involved in this study showed an improvement in test scores on the Children’s Global Assessment of Functioning scale (GAF) and it was shown that there was a statistically significant correlation between the percentage improvement on the GAF test scores and the number of EAP sessions completed (Schultz et al, 2007). It was shown that every child involved in the study, regardless of age and or race, showed an improvement in their GAF test scores after completing sessions of EAP. Although the long term effects of this therapy method are not documented or recorded, the immediate effects have shown that EAP is an effective treatment in dealing with behavioural and mental disorders in children arising from intra-family violence.

I believe that this research is very important as it is opening therapy doors to wider and more diverse methods of treatment. Obviously this treatment modality would be highly ineffective for persons who were adverse to or extremely frightened of horses, however I believe that it presents for us sound and effective reasoning on its success as a therapy method for people who are open to considering it. As I have mentioned previously, my own personal experiences with horses and teaching equestrian sessions, have proven to me again and again the effectiveness of this type of therapy for both myself and my clients. This study has supported my own personal findings in that EAP is highly effective as it teaches individuals, who are often unaware of their behaviour or emotions, to work with the horse to encourage the identification of these feelings. It allows one to recognize their emotions and emotional issues and therefore identify with them, begin to heal them and finally to move on from them. Positive interactions with the horses allow us to make emotional connections that are honest, strong and healthy, therefore allowing us to be vulnerable and open in a safe environment. Experiencing this type of constructive vulnerability is extremely important for clients dealing with a history of family abuse as it allows for the client and facilitator alike to build confidence, self-esteem and self-awareness, all of which are effective tools in everyday living. These tools can be especially effective for persons who have been victimized in such a way that these things have never been positively and constructively experienced before. Interactions with horses allow clients to experiment efficiently with the use and implication of building boundaries and setting limits for behaviour in themselves and in others. This again in turn allows clients, especially ones with a history of being victimized, to build confidence and feelings of self-worth that may be transmitted in to other aspects of their lives.

For use in a practical sense I feel that the information derived from this study would be highly effective in setting up a therapy program for at risk or underprivileged youth. Many individuals that fall into this category have experienced family abuse among many other hardships and I feel that a therapy program based on the principles of EAP would give these youth the tools needed to help them to move past these experiences and in to a place where they could become effective and highly functioning members of society.

References

Schultz, P.N, Remick-Barlow, G.A, & Robbins, L (2007). Equine assisted psychotherapy: A mental health promotion/intervention modality for children who have experienced intra-family violence. Health and Science in the Community, 15, 265-271. doi: 10.1111/j.1365-2524.2006.00684.x

Learning to Identify With Self

It's amazing how when we find beings to truly love, that truly love us back, it calls to the surface everything about our selves, true selves and false selves, to the surface. The power of being loved, and loving back, causes such a shift that usually we do not know how to handle it. The foundations of our world are so dearly rocked, and yet at the same time new ones are being formed, more solidly and strongly than the last. The shift is so sudden and so easy that it comes to most of us as such a surprise. It's like one moment you're there, happy and content on your own, doing your own thing, you blink, and next thing you know there is this beautiful creation standing right in front of you. You follow with no hesitation for you have never seen anything so lovely, so gorgeous, so right, and slowly you realize without judgement that before was only the shell of happy, before was only the shell of contentment. You do not care where it leads you, so long as you can follow beside it where ever it goes.  At some point you are bound to look away from it, for even a second, and it's then that your false self realizes that this beautiful creature is creating power for your true self, your false self tries to slam on the breaks. It feeds you lies, and as it is so good at doing, creates for you doubt. Doubt in whatever this is. Doubt that you can find this, that you deserve this, doubt that you have earned this. The interesting thing is that your True Self knows that in true love, there is no entitlement, there is no deserving, there is no earning. True love simply is True Love. It has no chains, no attachments, You love and you are loved. It will fill you up and overflow from you in the purest, most amazing form, and every life that you touch will see it and be inspiried by it.
True love, as I've said, causes a shift in the sense of self. Instantly we begin to relate to our true selves on such an intimate level that our false self panics. The process begins with sorting through all the messages that our selves are showing us. Our true selves will offer to us happiness and understanding, quietly content to sit by and let us discover the path for ourselves. Our false selves throw things at us. bashing and crashing until most of us over look our True selves in favour of the louder, more demanding, needy identity of our False Selves. We become so programed to listening to this loud pushy force that we slowly being to forget that our true selves exist. The more attention we feed to the False self the bigger and more powerful it gets. When we begin to realize that we are unhappy, that something always feels off, wrong or twisted no matter what we do, our false self flares up like the dictator that we have allowed it to become. It tells us that we are horrible, unworthy, of course we feel this way, look at what pitiful creatures we are. Who are WE to question? Who are WE to deserve better than this? Look at us now, whimpering and shivering, unhappy and alone. Of course you stand alone, for WHO would stand with you? Our false self tells us all these things. It denies us and brings us down, keeping us teathered and chained to our programed ideas of what should be. It stuffs us with its ideologies, and like so many before us, we accept them, take them as inevitable and right. WE DO NOT QUESTION. And there our true self sits, shining in the corner of our being. A quiet revolution simply waiting for us to be ready, for us to see, for us to QUESTION. Only then will it rise up, rise up and show each of us a  higher version of ourselves. A passive resistance to all things of the False self.

The Power of Choice

This is an important lesson I've been working on. How do you go about finding a distance? You know, the distance you need when you put so much  of yourself into something and then you go out in the world and there is so many people who are willing to try and break it all down, undermine your ideas and your confidences and your ideologies until it seems like there is nothing left of them or of you. These people can leave you broken and wounded and feeling completely worthless. I've come to realize lately that it's not so much finding a distance as it is finding a perspective, your outlook vs. their outlook. You're lucky if you can find people who share your outlook on things. These people seem to come few and far between, always be thankful when you find them!
We all know from personal experience that there's not much you can do if a person's perspective differs from yours, but so are the facts of life. I've come to learn recently that although people's perspectives differ, maybe even greatly contradict your own, it is your choice whether or not you choose to let them affect you and how you let them do so. If you choose to allow negativity to bring you down, it will, and likewise if you choose to let happiness fill you and consume your life, then it will. It's a simple act of choice that dictates the situation. So next time, try choosing to not let these people affect you. Try choosing to be strong and try choosing to let it go. Life is about living in the moment, not focusing on the moments that bring up down. So focus on the positive and believe that all things will happen for a reason, even if you don't know what that reason may be. Live with no regrets and seize opportunities as they come to you. Choose to have freedom and happiness and love. Choose to take an active role in your life. Choose to be who you are. And maybe, most importantly, Choose to let no one take these things from you.

The True Meaning of Love

"The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves that we find in them." – Thomas Merton

Love. What is love? Today in society there are so many different notions of love. Movies, books, television, media, we are utterly and completely inindated with these opinions of love. But are these really love? I'm not sure I can answer that. I think love comes in so many forms, so many different styles that it is literally impossible to have a set definition for. So perhaps the question should be, What is love to you? For me, Love is pure. It is opening you whole heart and letting things in. It is loving them for what and who they are. It is letting go of expectations and prejudices and accepting everything. That is true love. Love is not looking at someone or something and seeing only the good about them, no that is not love. Love is being able to truly see someone, all of them, the good, the bad, the quirks, the little things and the big things and loving all of that, because it makes them who they are. Love is unconditional. Love is not tampered by opinion or anger or prejudice. Love is pure, strong and unmoving. Love does not care about what you look like on the outside, it looks down, deeply, and sees into your soul. It sees to the root of your being, all your talents, all your faults. It awakens in you a force so powerful that you feel as if you could change the world. Love is always light, never darkness. It heals and cleanses where ever it goes. Once love is awakened its seeds can be spread everywhere. Love will flourish in the darkness and offer hope to the hopeless. When all things are gone, Love will remain.

I believe that love should be shared. Once you find it, everywhere you go, every life you touch and every soul you see should feel this love. Love starts within, First you must learn to love yourself truthfully, purely and unconditionally, then you can begin to love everything else. Let this love fill you up on the inside and spill out into the universe. Just as I believe that you will get back exactly what you send out, when you send out love you will find love where ever you look. You will attract to your being the energy of love and people who understand it. The first step to love is acceptance. Allow it to change your life, allow it to expand your horizons.

The Road to Self Discovery

"Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will find them gradually, without noticing it, and live along some distant day into the answer." - Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

I've been doing a lot of soul searching and self discovery lately. It's really put a lot of things into perspective for me. I've learned so much about myself and how I see the world in the last few months that some days it is hard to process all the information. I don't feel it would be productive to create a list of all the things I've come to realize in the last little while, but I will touch on some of them and how they have affected my life. I feel as if in the last while I've really learned what life is, tasted the purpose of it, lived a little bit of it, and now I can not give that up. It's like a drug, but of the very best kind. The kind that alters your view of the world so predominantely that you'll never see it the same way again. It's really changed my perspective on how I see other people. I have reached a bit of a paradox, on one hand I feel the need to let each person travel their own journey, and if I can help them on any level then I will do so, but only when called. On the other I find a deep rooted frustration and annoyance at people who are content to sit idly by and watch life fall down around them. These people are not happy, many of them realize this, yet they are willing to do nothing to change their circumstance. I met a beautiful soul not that long ago who I had an instant connection with, it was odd to feel this, like we had known each other for a very long time. He was, and still is, a lovely person, but right now he is content to let life steer him where it will. He is unhappy. He says he knows what he wants, but he is unwilling to reach for it, unwilling to take that leap of faith. Unwilling to face that moment where everything hangs in the balance, that moment where you realize that you've lept of the edge and there is no going back. That moment where everything begins to change. It's in that moment that you realize that you can have true happiness, that you can actively participate in your own life. It is in that moment that you realize that YOU HAVE A SAY in how things turn out. People always tell me I'm so lucky to be able to do the things I do. I'm so lucky to travel, I'm so lucky to have such an awesome relationship with my horse, I'm so lucky, I'm so lucky, I'm so lucky... Okay, YES to a certain point, luck plays into it, but why are we so afraid to go out and MAKE OUR OWN LUCK? When did we start just sitting back and ACCEPTING circumstance? When did we start just sitting back and letting life take us for the ride?

I'll admit I'm the first one to admit that I've had those moments where I just felt like I needed to slam on the breaks and just STOP for a second, reorganize, Look at a bunch of things and then continue on. Unfortunately life does not come with an emergency break. Once you're on those tracks there's no turning back, it's full steam ahead baby. It took me a while to realize that this feeling went away when I took an active role in my life. When I started steering the train, instead of freaking out and worrying about stopping it. I'm not saying it's a prefected science yet, it takes a bit to get used to it, but it's developing.

So the question is, When are you going to start steering? It's not an easy step to take. It means taking responsibility for your life. It means actually living, every waking moment, participating in every experience, the good, the bad and the ugly. It is taking full acceptance for you.

It wont be an easy journey, but in the iconic saying; try, try again.