Re-learning how to 'Feel'

The awakening process is not just about the horses, It's about the people too. I started out on this journey to help me horse, and I ended up helping me along the way. Now I'm trying to help me, and I'm trying to help the horses. I believe that part of this process is learning how to become honest with yourself. A lot of it for me is realizing and acknowledging what I am feeling. It's hard when society expects you to overcome these emotions, to discount them, and to discredit them as a part of life that needs to be mastered. We, as people, are seen as weak or even psychotic if we can not 'control' our emotions.
For me a huge part of the awakening process has been learning that it's really Okay to feel these things. It's okay to react with sadness, or anger, or complete and utter joy to any given situation. It's learning that it's okay to feel all the negative and postive. I Believe part of it is learning to feel these things, but at the same time distancing yourself from them. Learning that they are what they are, and just as time passes, they too will pass. You can't control them, not really. You can try and try and try. Medication, Meditation, whatever it takes, but eventually they will all build up and explode out of you. You wont be ready for that.
It's been interesting, being honest with myself. It's easier as it goes along, but I still have trouble being honest with others. Once you let go of the ego and the pride you don't judge yourself as harshly as you used to. I've reached that point, and perhaps the next step is being honest with others. I don't know if I can expect honesty in return, but part of this is letting go of the expectations. I must have faith that the people who I need to do this with will present themselves when I need them to be presented. For right now, I'm practicing being honest with myself, and honest with my Horses.
Now, First time I did that was... interesting, to say the least. It felt odd to me to be talking out loud to my horse about my issues, my feelings, and a situation I'd been having trouble with.  I actually felt kinda retarded, but that was just my old social mind rearing it's not-so gone head yet again. I felt better after I did it.
Part of this Honesty thing is learning to feel emotion as it comes along. They've been so repressed for so long that every single one is new and intense. I feel as though I almost radiate with emotion, as if walking around in a sphere of feeling. It's both positive and negative. When I'm happy I'm filled with a radiating and supreme bliss. When I'm Lonley, I radiate with a supreme lonliness. I'm learning to feel these emotions, but at the same time not to focus to intently on them. To not make them worse, or better, I'm just focusing on feeling. I am finding myself understanding that maybe I'm not meant to understand any of this other then, hopefully, at the end I will be a better version of my self for doing it. It's all about balance. The perfect paradox of the universe; Remaining so much in balance that one is completely awake, and completely detached all at the same time.