Learning How to Draw the Line

So an experience with a client's horse today gave me the idea for this lovely blog entry. It is, when training from an emotional perspective, where do you draw the line between what you should and shouldn't do? Where is that perfect balance that allows you to give the horse a voice without losing your own?
Thats a good question. Usually I tell people to just listen to their guts, or their instincts, but sometimes this can be really difficult. So much in everyday life we repress these feelings, or rationalize them away. It takes a lot of training to get people to listen to them again. Repressing them has become a reflex, as countless times a day all of us are put into situations that we probably don't want to be in.
It's taken a lot for me to start listening to this. Usually I get into a situation that my gut will warn me about, and then end up backing out later, realizing that "hey, yeah, I guess I should have just listened to that in the first place". It's a steep learning curve because you're not only reprogramming yourself to listen to yourself, you're retraining your mind to move away from that False self, yet again. And You are the only person who can teach yourself this. That means you have no coach on the sidelines yelling at you to 'Put your heels down' so to speak. And, just like learning to ride, you need a fair few reminders on what to do, and when to do it, but after a lot of practice, it almost becomes second nature.
Anyways, back to the topic of the day. How do you draw the line? I'm talking in particularily about the line of knowing when the horse has had enough, and when you, as the rider, handler, whatever, have pushed too far. This pushing too far is what creates those 'shut down' horses I've talked about in earlier posts. These are the horses that learn to dissassociate their minds from their bodies. They learn to cope with the 'too far' usually by leaving. Then, we, as the not-so-intune handlers think that the horse has decided to co-operate. So, from an emotional perspective, what does drawing the line look like? Usually, it means just putting them back out in the feild and coming back another day. There are so many trainers, coaches, riders, what-have-you out there that believe this method creates a horse that 'figures out the system'. Honestly, I have not seen this. When we are willing to work with the horse, on the horses' terms, we are seeing equine partners that are willing to display what they are feeling, so some days, just like in us humans, they wake up on the wrong side of the bed. Wouldn't it be nice if someone was willing to just put you away when you where like this? It would sure make me want to come back more the next day. So instead of pushing, learn to step back. Create a safe environment for you and your horse, by learning simply to say ok.
I'm not saying this is easy. As riders moving into this we come with a lot of 'this is my horse, I pay for him, he should do what I want'. It takes a lot to move past that. Your Ego, it'll take a blow, so will your pride, but then again, I think the horses would probably prefer if we chose to simply not bring that around. It really is the first step of the journey, and as they say; The First Step is Always the Hardest.