Change vs. Control

Relationships change. That's the amazing beauty and wonder of them. Sometimes, we don't want them to change. Some times we like to hang onto them, cling to what they where, because we are so terrified of what they will become, or what we will become, if we allow them to change. Friendship changes. Love Changes. Conflict Changes. But what does this change look like? I don't honestly think that anyone can truly answer that. Change is so different on so many different levels that how each person precieves it affects what it looks like in their eyes. People who believe change is good will be more likely to see it in a positive light, with a positive outcome, no matter how difficult the situation is. People who 'hate' or 'dislike' change will rarely ever see it in a positive light. Their veiw and opinion will be marked by negativity, their perception always shadowed by darkness. I believe that change, and your opinion on it, goes back to control. How much control do you believe you have? How much control do you need to believe you have? Control is a funny thing, It gets people so hyped up on having it, gets them addicted, and then one moment in their lives takes it all away. They are left with nothing but this feeling of 'spiraling out of control'. (funny how that works!) So what do they do? They Grab at it, hectically. They can't let it go, but they have trouble seeing that they never had it in the first place. I believe that control is illusive. It's like the mythical Unicorn, a thing of legend. We have all these people taping horns onto their horses' forheads and then becoming dissappointed, even dangerously so, when they discover that all along it was 'just a horse'. So what happens if just allow 'horses to be horses', for lack of a better word, and stop trying to make them all into unicorns? It's the paradox of Control. You give it all up, just to gain it. Not that you gain control by giving up control, you gain something better. You gain understanding. Understanding that things work out for the best. The Understanding that if you stop trying to grab at something, and just allow it to be, it will find you. We spend so much time searching for the things that we had all along. Happiness, love, understanding. if we stop trying to control it all, stop trying to grab at it, stop fantisizing over it and making it into this huge, unobtainable concept, we just might find it. They say that all things in life are simple, perhaps they are.
Giving up control is a terrifiying concept. People are honestly afraid of it. We are taught from a small age to 'control' everything. Control your emotions, Control your thoughts, Control your words, Control your Personality, Control yourself, Control your dog, Control your horse, Control, Control, Control... You get the point...the list goes on and on and on. Giving it up, is like asking a herion addict to give up herion. You have to first allow them to discover that they need to change. You can preach and preach until the cows come home, you can show them life without it, you can allow them to glimpse a breif expereince into living with spiritual awareness, but you can not force them to change. People cannot truly accept change until they are ready to change, and change requires a release of control. It's not an easy road. Just as some drug addicts are prone to relapse, so are people who are releasing control.
Once we release control we gain the understanding that we need to allows things to be as they are. We need to live in the moment as we are, and allow other beings to do the same. In doing so, you will find the true stable ground that your former friend contorl elluded so nicely to.